I have a secret

Posted by WiseMóna    91 Comments    in The Snug

Me. A sitting duck on some big news.

I have such a big secret it is killing me.

I want, desperately, to tell you my secret, but I can’t.

I am also the worlds worst secret-keepr so you should know that THIS IS KILLING ME.

I am being watched … so must stay quiet

And before you all start wondering and and asking if I have been signed with some huge publishing company – that is not what is going on.

I am going to write a lengthy and wordy (using big words too) blog post on why I chose to self publish and why getting a ‘publishing deal’ has never been my dream. I have never even sent my book out to a publishing house for consideration. I can’t handle the rejection of it all. 

This is me, starting from the ground up. learning the ins and outs of the writing, editing, printing and publishing world while I am still in college.

It is like starting of in an office being the coffee bitch. I love my job.

These guys (and there are SIX of them) have kept me SO distracted ….

THIS is a VERY important blog post though – because this is the first of FOUR fabulous giveaways between now and the book launch on May 31st.

I am mostly giving away copies of my new book ‘The Chef & I’ so TWO of you lucky readers will be getting an advance copy.

This competition is open to worldwide readers.

I am using the ‘And the Winner is’ plug-in for this one because otherwise I would want to choose EVERYBODY … and I just can’t give all the books away. A girl has gotta earn a living!

So – all you have to do is leave a comment letting me know that you want a copy of the book and WHAT you think my big secret is.

If you have no idea at all – make something up.

I will pick the winner next week on Wednesday or Thursday – when the books are delivered to my house and ready for shipping!

Bluebells are becoming an endangered flower. Do not pick them!

Have a great weekend everyone,

AND the lucky winners ARE :

AND

Congrats to you both ladies and please send me on your home address!

Móna  xx

Writing and publishing a book in 24 weeks from start to print

Posted by WiseMóna    36 Comments    in The Snug

The title says it all, doesn’t it?

I started writing my first book (The Chef & I … a nourishing narrative) on Monday September 5th 2011.

I also started writing a daily rhyme on my Facebook page so I could not use writers block as an excuse. To date, because I have not missed a day, I have written 213 rhymes and have gathered almost 4,000 fans in six months.

I took a week off during halloween break because the kids were home from school and they would not stay quiet enough for me to write.

I finished the narrative part of the story on December 10th, 2011.

A larder of love

I did ‘nothing’ for half of December and half of January.

I procrastinated ALOT about typing up and editing all the Chef’s recipes.

Where it's at …

In February, Annie Atkins came to visit (one Valentines weekend) and we made some amazing progress with the food shots.

I was mentally ready to finish the book.

I found the dream design duo – who were right under my nose the whole time.

In March they got their hooks stuck in and encouraged me to let go. This was not easy.

They knew what they were doing. I did not.

I had to trust them. I wanted to trust them. So I let go.

Making room on the book shelf for a few copies

Today – 48 hours before my university deadline, I picked up a ‘mock’ copy of my first book. It, being a mock-up, is gorgeous in itself so I can only imagine how pretty the finished book will be. On Friday I will be going to the printshop to see the book on ‘plates’ and watch the first lithograph print run come spilling out ‘hot off the press’.

They are letting me take photos so I can blog all about it.

I have not slept for days or even weeks – worried that my final grade for Creative Writing was in jeopardy.

It is exactly what I wanted only nicer …

I will sleep tonight.

The next few posts will be all about the print, publishing and pricing end of my book journey.

I have learned SO MUCH over the last few months and can’t wait to share it with you!

Sleep tight,

WiseMóna – author (finally) emerged

PS – for those of you that are new to WiseWords blog (hello!) heres the deal in a nutshell. 

I am a mature student at NUIG. I have one year left of a 4-yr undergrad (English Literature and German Language studies with Creative Writing as my specialism).

This book was my 3rd year project and there are 12 weeks before Christmas and 12 weeks after Christmas to get your course work done.

I hope I get an ‘A’.

It’s my birthday. Again.

Posted by WiseMóna    64 Comments    in The Snug

Doesn’t it seem, when you get to a certain age, that birthdays seem to swing by every six months?

It does not feel all that long ago since my last one. I am sure that the iPhone alarm, going off all day to alert me that my birthday is all but upon us, is wrong.

Apple malfunction for sure.

I had tea earlier today with a friend and we reviewed the ‘book’ together. As she was listening intently to me describe our life and world on the pages she mentioned that I was ‘very brave’ to put myself out there and share our story. I really never gave it much thought to be honest. The Chef and I have had a very open relationship all along. No secrets. No games. Just a lot of fun and love-kinda-mush stuff.

But it struck a chord with me and I thought, seeing as it’s my birthday (February 23rd), I would share a little bit of (very useless) information about me – to kind of get all that stuff out of the way before the book comes out in July – ok?

So. Who is this WiseMóna girl anyway?

1 am almost 6 ft tall and love to wear high heels.

I only buy shoes on the internet because I have very large feet.

I wear a 36 inch inseam on my pants leg and only shop for clothes online because ‘Tall’ jeans or trousers in Ireland are not the same as ‘Tall’ in the US.

I still have, and wear because they still fit, my favourite pair of pants that I bought to wear to the rehearsal party the night before our wedding (12 years ago).

I suffer from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. One of the misinterpreted signals from the pain suffered from this nerve condition is depression.

I also suffer – for eleven years now – from a Thyroid dysfunction called  Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. One of the symptoms of this disease is also depression.

I am not depressed. I do not blog or talk about these issues because I can’t let them define who I am or who I want to be. But they are real, and cause pain, and steal my time when I have to go see a doctor about the next course of treatment.

I am a really well trained ‘home cook’. But, because I have been blessed with a husband who is a chef and much better at cooking than I, I have no love for cooking.

I love washing dishes. Gloves on, bubbles loaded. Take me away.

I.Do.Not.Like.Chocolate. – Do not try to change my mind. I could win a competition for eating the most potato chips.

I used to be afraid of the dark. Now I know I was just afraid of my husband who used to lay on the floor (in the dark) waiting to grab my ankles as I walked up the stairs.

I hate big crowds. Anything more than eight people and I get seriously claustraphobic unless I am working behind a bar and can keep my distances from the crowd.

I am claustrophobic. My first kiss with the Chef was in a glass elevator. ’twas lovely.

I am a very fast walker. There are very few people that can, or want to, keep pace with me. The Chef, who has shorter legs, is faster.

I am afraid that my first book will not be a rip roaring success. This is apparently a very normal fear.

I love ironing and cutting the grass. A day where I do both of these activities sees me revved up and very relaxed at the same time.

I am at my best when I am walking on my treadmill every morning around six am. I feel like I can conquer the world.

I am at my ugliest when I am walking on my treadmill every morning. Sweat, spluttering, gasping for water.

I go to bed early every night. Sometimes as early as 9:00pm.

I hate television but do watch ‘selected’ and ‘recorded’ shows like ‘Downton Abbey’ and anything the Chef thinks I need to watch like ‘farming show’s’ and the like.

And last but not least……..

I am a nerd. I like to read. I like to format and organise text and draft newsletters and make things pretty.

I hope I am chasing the right dream.

Are you?

Photo courtesy of the lovely and talented Annie Atkins

There you have it folks. Let the Birthday festivities begin and last all weekend!

Those are all the WiseWords I have for today.

WiseMóna

Emerging Author with an Identity Crises

Posted by WiseMóna    50 Comments    in The Snug

This is the only known photo of me 'not' smiling and was taken for my green card application. No smiling allowed.

It might be all the talk about Dana ( pronounced Dah – nah ) running for president.

Or it might be the fact that when I meet people for the first time — those who have been reading the blog — they are taken aback at the sound of me. Mostly, it is a case of mistaken identity, and because of this, I always find myself apologising for the way I ‘sound’. I am either (a) American sounding or (b) Irish sounding. But which ever way I end up sounding, it is always the complete opposite of the way I ‘sound’  to them, when they read the words I write.

One of the very first things I was taught when I started this writing course in 2009 at NUIG  was about finding my ‘voice’. My first batch of homework exercise came back from my teacher all red-penned and perforated with comments like: ’great voice, but are you American or Irish? Pick one and stick with it’.

Hmpf….easy for teacher to say because he clearly did not have to listen to all the voices in my head, all day long, nattering on and on and on in Ah-merhi-kahn……or in Oi-rish.

So here it is. I am laying my cards on the table. I, Móna Wise, can (apparently) never run for president, it appears in America, or in Ireland. I knew I would never make it to the White House. They make that very clear when you get your citizenship. Unless you are a natural born citizen, you ain’t got a chance.

Now, because I have the privilege of holding dual citizenship, not being able to make a run for Irish presidency comes as devastating news to me. I always fancied a stint at the Arás myself.

Irish by birth and American by choice.

I was born and raised in Ireland and moved to the US when I was 19. You could say I grew up there. I was a US Visa lottery winner and had a green card. I never needed to gain citizenship. The only thing I was not able to do was vote. That was why I got my US citizenship. I am a voter who firmly believes that every vote counts. I have never been ashamed of either of my nationalities. Carrying dual citizenship/passports is like saying ‘It’s ok to have dual personalities Móna. Be who you are’.

When I moved to the US I was welcomed so warmly I did not return home for 15 years (except once a year on holidays etc).When I moved back home a few years ago, I was welcomed so warmly I am still sad I was gone so long.

Both of these ‘personalities’ of mine, that I find myself sometimes trying to hide or hush, are who I am.

I can’t be one or the other. I am both.

I am me.

Now, I know there is no talk of food in this blog post. For future reference, I am posting all my ‘WiseWords on Writing‘ in the little section called ‘The Snug’ at the top of the blog. I like to sit in ‘The Snug’ in several bars in town and write. No, I will never tell you which bar snugs I sit in because I like to be alone, with my white noise playing on my iPhone, and pretend that I look important. I can’t do that if you are sitting next to me chatting.  (For those of you that do not know what a snug is, it is a teeny tiny cosy nook in a pub where people will leave you alone. The nicer ones are right beside the fireplace and seat only three or four people).

 * We interrupt this programme to give you a break from the girl on her soapbox. Have a look at the cute photo, take a break and resume reading in five *

Hey – it's seasonal! Little Rory-Belle aged 3

* and we are back *

Today, I hit a big mile marker with my book writing. I have cleared the 10,000 word hurdle and am carrying around a hefty weighted manuscript in my lovely leather tote these days. (disclosure – there are lots of photos so it ‘looks’ bigger than it is!). I feel that this book has about one hundred thousand words of a story in it, but after I edit out all the fluff and typos and extra exclamation points, I figure we are looking at a cool 70,000 for the final word count. I have no idea how many pages this will be, but there will be enough pretty photos in it to keep you interested.

Earlier this morning I had a nice chat on the phone with ‘my editor’. I love saying ‘my editor’.

His job is to make sure I actually write the book and he has the power to pass or fail me at the end of the school year (May 2012) if I do not listen and learn from all the advice he is giving me. Failing is not an option because I am still afraid of my Mother and her large collection of wooden spoons.

After our chat on the phone I reviewed my notes and lined up all the comments, so as to make sure I would incorporate all his advice into my next batch of writing. Now before you go all ‘oh, here she goes all bragging etc’ I just want to make a little statement.

I am in college to learn how to write. Many people are natural born writers that never need to go to school to learn how to write. I envy them. It has taken me almost forty years to come to terms with the fact that writing is all I want to do. And now you know I am old.

Here’s what the editor had to say:

‘Your story is compelling and interesting‘

This is a relief to me because he is a dude from Dublin. My target audience is a female one, so I like knowing a manly man like Eoin can read the book and find it interesting.

‘You are presenting your story very well and you have a fairly good shot of having this be picked up with interest from a few publishers‘

This is so nice to hear and the exact words any emerging author wants to hear. Am I right?  I am hell bent on self-publishing. T’is my first book. I am a control freak.

‘Drop in another section like your ‘Larder of love’ . It is so personal and really gives the reader a feel for who you are‘.

I about peed with excitement here because the ‘Larder of love’ is my little introduction at the begining of the book and — squeal –  I love it too!

So, yeah, I now have to come up with one or two other fabulous things to ‘drop in’ to the book. I’m on it!

‘You might run into a bit of trouble when it comes to marketing your book because it is straddling the lines of split genres, however, you are doing it very well, so do not change what you are doing right now and we will worry about that later‘.

He is so right. I know it. Haven’t I just told you all about my split personalities? Well, the book is split genres. Attention seeking if you will.

It is straddling the lines of Memoir/Biography AND Lifestyle/Cookbook.

Ah feck it. My teacher told me in first year that he really hated all those people that were young and writing memoirs. How can you write a memoir if you are only 30 and have not even lived yet? He is right. But the Chef & I have crammed an awful lot of living into our first fifteen years together.

Oh, and the last one is about voice, which is what started this whole bloody identity crises blog post to beging with….

‘Watch how you sometimes ‘talk’ directly to the reader. It is working for now, but we need to keep an eye on it‘.

Yes. I know that I do this. This is what happens when you blog. I assume that everyone is sitting there reading my words as I type, nodding their heads and participating as I ramble on. Like when I crack a joke, I can hear the audience laugh.

I so need to get out more. I am such a recluse.

He never once mentioned anything about how I ‘sounded’. I am guessing that I have put that demon to rest and can carryon just being me.

And that’s a wrap for today folks.  I am on cloud nine. I feel that I am finding my groove and I already love the look and feel of the book.

10,000 words a month. If I can do it (being a full time student, mum to four and wife to an exceedingly needy husband) then so can you.

What are you waiting for?

WiseMóna

All words and images are my own. © 2011. 

Here’s one for the girls…

Posted by WiseMóna    10 Comments    in The Snug

I like to drink. There. I have said it.

Ok. This is not the first time I have said it and will not be the last time either. I am a bit of a drinks snob too. No West Coast Cooler for this chick, sorry. I’m a top shelf kinda girl when it comes to the hard stuff. I always have a bottle of Gin or Vodka in the freezer and the rest of our liquor supply, conveniently located in my office, shows that the Chef and I share an educated palate for rich rums, perfect ports, sipping sherries, savoury single malts and of course irresistible Irish whisky and liquors. It should be stated — for all the social workers reading this — that the Chef has only seen me drunk three times in the 16 years we have been together. That means either (a) I am a cheap date and after one drink am in bed by 9:30pm or (b) I can really hold my liquor.

Not many berries left!

The secret to making good cocktails is very simple. Stay away from the schwag stuff. Do not buy cheap artificially coloured and flavoured drink mixes. The more syrup (combined with cheap booze) you ingest the bigger the hangover. Now theres a word we all love to hate.

The shorter ones can reach the lower branches….

Start by assembling your children and send them out to pick blackberries. Promise them pie, or muffins or cobbler with ice-cream so they return with baskets brimming.

A belly full of blackberries

Whilst they are out foraging, assemble the necessary ingredients for your cocktail. First, make a little mint infused simple syrup. All you need is 2 cups of sugar, 2 cups of water, 2 cups of mint leaves. Put all the ingredients into your favourite little pot. Bring to the boil, mixing to ensure the sugar dissolves.

Remove from the heat and leave to cool.

Blackberries, lemons, limes, sugar and mint.

By now the rugrats will have returned with their handpicked bounty and it is time for you to make a real mess. I know this looks strange, but you have to break a couple of eggs in order to make an omelette.

I put all my (gently rinsed off) blackberries into the food processor first and blitzed them. They puree very nicely, but the seeds might be a bit cumbersome in a flashy drink like the one we are making, so it is best to find a piece of cheesecloth (or a piece of an old t-shirt will suffice if you are stuck) and squeeze the blackberry pulp until you have extracted all the juice.

Mix the remaining dry(er) fruit pulp with some honey and use it to mix with natural yoghurt for the kids breakfast the next day. Waste no, want not, I say!

Using cheesecloth and a strainer, gently squeeze the fruit to extract the juice

When making cocktails, mint is one of your best friends. However, we use basil a lot too. It adds a lovely coolness to the concoctions and gives your drink a new twist. Lemon and limes are also essentials, but pink grapefruit is something you should certainly include in your fruit bowl. Adding this juice to any drink is a win-win in my book. Freshly squeezed, of course. Not the crap in a can, please.

You must have mint growing in your back garden on on your windowsill.

Keeping a bottle of ‘heres one I made earlier’ mint infused simple syrup in the fridge, means that you will always be prepared to whip up a cocktail.

In the shaker

Blackberry Mojito

It goes without saying, that at the time of creation,  it was sunny and bright outside. This was most refreshing.

But the weather has turned and it is raining and miserable.

I feel like drinking a hot buttered rum or hot whisky.

Either way folks, enjoy your beverage and please drink responsibly!

Those are all the WiseWords I have for today,

WiseMóna

What does #FF mean on Twitter (Week 5)

Posted by WiseMóna    10 Comments    in The Snug

A bouquet of (mostly weeds) flowers that the children picked for my Mum, who is celebrating her birthday today!

Yep. Back on the blogging bandwagon. That is where I hope to stay until the kids get their next holiday from school. Then, I will be swallowed up into a world of ‘do-whatever-they-want-to-do’ just to keep the peace, ya know.

I have been trying to think of a way to bail out of this whole #FF thing on Twitter because it still kind of drives me mental. If you are a newbie reader here at WiseWords or if you are new to Twitter and do not have a feckin clue what the #FF is all about . . then click here to get caught up to speed. Oh, and it drives me mental because Friday is a busy day for me and I am always wrecked with serious guilt (all part of being Irish, right?) over not having time to #FF all my favourite Tweeters.

I started using Twitter about six months ago. It is one of the best ways to get to know like-minded folk in the virtual sense and I have met loads of my new Twitter pals in real life too!

When I started with my explanation of what the #FF was all about, it was mostly to explain it to myself. It takes me ages to catch on and in the end, after weeks of wondering, I just googled it to find out it was just a Tweeters way of saying ‘Hi there and hello. I like these folks so go ahead and follow them’.

So I started out on my quest to showcase some of the Tweeters I follow and give you a little taste of who they are and link you to the blogs that they write and explain why I like them. Bear with me here. I am only getting started.

I took August off from blogging because the kids kept bombarding me their demands and the Chef spent most of the month at home on holidays too, annoying me with questions like Whats for lunch Honey? Then one of my siblings arrived home from France and we spent a lot of time in the kitchen where the chef labeled us ‘The CookSister Cooks’.

I started to Follow the Food Link and sometimes ended up in the Jungle of the Chefs polytunnel and eventually started to realise that I had Married and Irish Farmer after all.

When it came time to decide where our little mini-break would take us at the end of summer before the kids got back to school we were seriously drawn to Swedish temptations but decided that Life is a feast right here in our own back yard and opted to take a trip down Garrendenny Lane with friends instead.

Although everything at Chez Wise is all FoodandtheFabulous all the time, I finally heaved a sigh of relief when the kids went back to school earlier this week and made time for a little bit of pampering and tried to reward to my readers right here on WiseWords.

I have had such a fun summer with the kids, with the Chef, with my Mum and all my siblings and nieces and nephews. This past week, I have gotten to know A LOT of my readers via email, Facebook and Twitter and I am overwhelmed at the response I have had to the goody giveaway.

I hate doing posts with words and no photos because I think that a reader might get bogged down by all the …. ah ….. words. So if you have made it this far and clicked a few of the links then well done to you! These are just a few of the people I love on Twitter and think you should #FF them!

A little bit of birthday cupcake love for Granny….if the kids do not get to it first!

Today is my Mum’s birthday and we are off now to buy her something pretty functional and practical. Stay tuned!

Those are all the WiseWords I have for today,

WiseMóna

And the lucky winners are…..

Posted by WiseMóna    23 Comments    in The Snug

 

A copy of Fiona Cairns 'Bake & Decorate' book.

And the first prize goes to Number 198 – please email me your shipping address and a copy of Fiona Cairns most recent book ‘Bake & Decorate’ will be on it’s way to you!

€100 gift certificate!

Ok – moving on to one of the foodie favourites – the gift certificate to The Burren Smokehouse goes to Number 136. Feel free to browse their website (click on link above) and when you have decided what you want – send me an email and we will get it shipped to you right away! (Ships worldwide).

Ok – now, the little sauté pot from the ‘Mini Mauviel’ collection goes to Number 192. Check your number (emails were sent out yesterday and today) and if you are the lucky winner – then please email me your address and I will pop this in the post to you so you can start sautéing to your hearts content!

 

Mauviel Mini Sauté Pan

For one of my favourite favourite prizes – lucky Number 893 for this win! Please check your numbers and click on the link to start shopping. Please send me a quick email and Lorna from Garrendenny Lane will set you up with an e-gift certificate so you can stock up on some of her excellent products! (Ships everywhere except Asia).

€100 gift certificate!

And last but by no means least (for today anyway) the winner of the Mauviel Mini Cocotte is Number 673. Please send me an email to claim your prize!

From the Mauviel 'mini' series Cocotte – Value €110

Ok – phew. I am running off to check all the numbers now to see if I can figure out who all the winners are!

(To those of you that requested your names/emails are not shared I have listened to your requests and decided it was waaaay easier to just list the random number generated than to have to rifle through a gazillion email address looking for your names. If you are a winner and give me permission to list your name then email me now and I will tell the world!).

I got a LOT of late subscribers. To those of you that have been reading WiseWords for the last few years – thank you thank you thank you. To those of you that are ‘newbies’ then thank you for tagging along for the giveaway and I hope you enjoy the stories we spin here at WiseWords!

Those are all the WiseWords I have for this evening where it is well and truly Happy Hour!

WiseMóna

Oh goody goody giveaways!

Posted by WiseMóna    30 Comments    in The Snug

Are you all signed up for the goody giveaway on WiseWords?

You know you are if you have just received a personal email from me giving you your randomly assigned number.

The drawing will take place tomorrow evening sometime after supper (GMT).

Below, you will see a few of the gifts I am giving away tomorrow and there are still a few dandy gift certificates stored in my stationary drawer for the end of September.

For this drawing, if you are not signed up, all you have to do is subscribe via email (see link at bottom of this post) and to double your chances, pop over to our WiseWords page on Facebook.

€100 gift certificate – ships worldwide

Click on the logo to see what they have on offer!

€100 gift certificate – ships (almost) worldwide.

Click on the logo and try telling me you do not want a gift certificate to this shop!

From the Mauviel 'mini' series Sauté pot – Value €60

Oh, everyone wants a little copper pot. Everyone.

From the Mauviel 'mini' series Cocotte – Value €110

Thanks to all the current readers and stay tuned tomorrow to see who all the winners are!

WiseMóna

Hello world, I got a new do…

Posted by WiseMóna    27 Comments    in The Snug

Hello!

This, is my 300th blog post. I know. Big deal right?

I think it is.

I started my blog in 2008 because my brother-in-law Tom started one and, ah hullo, I cannot let that sneaky sister of mine be better than me…….I mean she already had four kids and I was still the underachiever with only two. And hers were awfully cute and taking all the attention away from me.

Oh, yes. I am that kind of attention seeker. Ask anyone.

So, I started a blog. It made for an easy way to keep all our friends and family up to date (if they chose to read) on where our travels were taking us.

It documented how our mighty plan to move from USA to the swell-life in Switzerland slithered down a slippery slope and we ended up finding happiness right here at home in Ireland.

That was my first blog. Then, I got itchy feet and decided I needed a new blog. Something greener.

This one, documented the start of our life back at home. Reconnecting with family and friends. The kids starting school. The harsh reality of coming to terms with life in a small city that does not have a Starbucks. (First world problem isn’t it, and it shows just how shallow I really am. I know).

This blog also captured a lot of puppy love, lost teeth, first days at school and rain. One of my favourite phrases from that period of our life was the Chef asking me ‘if they were ever going to turn the lights on’. City slicker is the Chef, and he had never lived in the country.

After a while, I was beaten-over-the-head-with-a-stick gently coerced into taking a few creative writing classes at NUIG with the wildly eccentric, excellently outspoken Fred Johnston. I, am not a college girl. The classes were taking place at night. It was dark. No one would know. I agreed to do this, because my mother paid for the class and it got me out of the house where the Chef and I had taken nicely to killing each other with very venomous words.

Imagine that, if you can.

Then something very strange happened. I attended the first class. The soft glow of a light bulb illuminated. I went into the class with a seriously bitch-like attitude that sounded like ‘I am only doing this because Mum is making me’ and came out with that dreaded dreadful realisation that most women — at some point or another in their lives — come to terms with.

My mother was right.

She knew I would love this class. How did she know this? Because Irish mammy’s know everything AND are always right. Of course, I did not let her know this straight away. I had to play up the bitch-card for a few weeks and complain about having homework and needing time to write a poem.

A day in the life

Turf embers glow and the grand old clock strikes midnight. 

A new day begins before I get the chance to wipe the grime of yesterday from my face. 

I should look for missing shoes and lunchbox lids before I sleep, but the warmth of my lover, already in bed, is beckoning me. 

I sleep, for what feels like ten seconds, before the flip flop of toddlers’ feet come thundering down the winding attic stairs, announcing a new day. Kitchen chaos ensues. Uniforms, lunchbox lids and the never ending search for that missing shoe, furiously followed by slobbery kisses and hurried hugs.

Then. There is peace in my nest. 

I sip my coffee; I breathe.

That was my first homework assignment.

Signs were on it that I was starting to enjoy myself.

Within a few months (and another round of Fred’s classes) I had enrolled to go to college. I had been interviewed, and aptitude’ded (a new word I just made up) and had to put together a portfolio of (pure fluff) of my former pieces of writing to prove that I wanted to be a writer.

You know for a girl that worked in the service industry from a very young age, to being a wedding planner for ten years, to owning my own restaurant for five years, I had no trouble getting it all into words and on to the page. I printed out my blog and showed the course director that I was already ‘writing’ and I just needed ‘learning’. I am sure he felt sorry for me especially because I (still) can’t spell for shit, apostrophes know where they are supposed to go yet never seem to end up in the right place and eventhough I read everything out loud before I hit ‘print or publish’ I sometimes have very bockety sentences.

I love the word ‘bockety’.

Shortly after starting college, because I clearly did not have enough on my plate, we signed up to become foster parents. I was still trying very hard to out-do my (much much much) older sister and her husband. And wouldn’t you know, before my first year in college came to a close our family grew to include two more kids.

It is very cliché (and them there clichés are a big no-no in the classroom) to say – the rest is history – so I will not say that. But, the rest is a blur at best. Lots of roaring and shouting (me). Lots of broken wooden spoons (Mum). Lots of tears (me). Lots of hugs (Me.Mum.The Chef). Lots of lovely lovely food. Lots of laughter. Lots of fun and, I suppose, to my Mother’s credit, lots of ‘excellents-all-round’ on everyones school report cards (mine included).

So, there you have it. A (much longer than intended) little hello, from a new launch pad over here at WiseWords.ie

The kids will return to school in a little less than ten days. I have all my copper pots and other giveaway goodies  lined up and ready to disperse to the lucky winners.

All of you (that have subscribed to WiseWords for free via email) will receive an email with a randomly choosen number that has been assigned to you.

The drawing will take place on September 1st 2011, so if you want to double your chances to win a prize, then make sure you pay a visit to my WiseWords facebook page, where I will be documenting the book writing process for my third year class project at NUIG.

Life as we know it, is about to get a lot more interesting here in our Wonderful Wise World.

A great big thank you to those of you that have been with us from the beginning. I hope you will continue to enjoy all the stories to come from the Chef & I here at WiseWords. Now, in order to get the whole effect on your browsers please return back to the home page to have a look at all the pretty pictures.

Those are all the WiseWords I have for this morning.

I am off to pick up a truck full fo straw bedding for the feathered flock!

WiseMóna

It was love at first sight, for me anyway….

Posted by WiseMóna    4 Comments    in The Snug

Wearing denim dungarees and a Chez Piggy t-shirt with his ponytailed hair tucked neatly under his sexy french beret. First glance. I told myself I was going to marry that man and raced over to claim my prize. He was not interested. I should have walked away ego deflated but noticed a petite spectacled curly-haired Kentucky girl sharpening her talons, so I stood my ground. I was a child – he was reluctant. Work kept us busy and forced us together. He in the kitchen, me at the bar.

A competition for best Irish coffee gave us reason to show our talents and I knew this was an easy win. He, brewing his luxury liquid brew, and me with my Maxwell House. Whipping his cream to perfect peaks and attempting to make his coffee – it bottomed out. Me, with my tempered glass of blazing whisky, spooning my insta mix of coffee, sugar and red breast gold, I could see the tension rise as the competition became obvious. A dollop of pilfered perfect cream on top, enough to steal his heart with first sip.

The next day, I fired him.